My art has always been the doorway to my soul. It feels so good to indulge myself to be in this highly creative phase and to use it for a part of my healing process. The last time I was this prolific was when I was pregnant with Lily.
Through this process of writing and producing one of a kind art pieces, it enables me to go deeper into the deeper layers of my psyche.
I see that I am in a total metamorphosis. From the moment (and everything that led up to it) I was diagnosed everything fell into place, seamlessly and still is. This may seem like an abstract thought for some, but for me it feels rather obvious. I imagine just like the butterfly trying to emerge from the cocoon, it doesn't come without pain, time or frustration, like all births. I do feel as though I have died, and my previous life is now just a memory (an amazing one mind you!) on this infinite line of the life/death continuum. I am not that person anymore, I don't know who I am, where I am going or what the immediate future will look like.
Obviously I have chosen to use the finest western cancer Dr.'s and medicine available, but for me it is imperative to integrate holistic, creative and esoteric healing practices. Being diagnosed with cancer is no garden party but I choose to use it for deep healing and transformational purposes.
In the beginning it was difficult due to the shock of the news and then to be fully immersed in the cancer care process that you must go through to get from diagnosis to prognosis. It is has been extremely difficult for me to integrate my healing practices due to lack of energy from being in cancer/pain body which keeps me in the dense physicality of this experience. Not only is this difficult it is very frustrating since it has always been very easy for me to access the more refined energies of my body along with having the ability to access higher frequency energies as well.
You can't imagine how much energy it takes to do something simple like meditate or healing sounds. I know many types of healing practices and I can't seem to access the more refined layers of my body mind, like the meridians, the vibrational bodies or the chakras. I suppose being in the dense physical layer of my body is the priority for me right now.
I am able to do very slow focused movement exercises, stretches and Do-In, which has helped tremendously with pain, mobility and sleep.
I am realizing this experience is going to take time and right now rest is what my body needs. I am in actual fact doing quite a bit from sitting on the dock in the morning watching the tide, which is a form of meditation, taking in the vitamin D from the sunshine, short walks in nature, to expressing my psychosis (!) through my artwork and sharing my experience on this blog!
It may seem cryptic but I am revealing many aspects of my life story through my art and writing, particularly this chapter.
This is a rare occurrence that my soul goes this public!
**My art pieces will be revealed some time in the future. The series is entitled "Gypsy Dreamscapes". When I get back I will have them professionally printed on fine art paper as I am currently working digitally. I will then work on top of the printed pieces with different artist materials. The pieces are quite surreal inspired my love of the Dada movement.
No comments:
Post a Comment