It has been just over a month since the diagnosis of my stage 4 lung cancer.

I knew right away from a spiritual perspective the cancer was part of my ride, that I needed to have this experience in order to truly heal and to take myself to the next level of refined being.

From that moment on my life became consumed with having cancer. So many tests - CT scans, PET scans, MRI, X-rays - poked, prodded, exhausted, insomnia, dehydrated, confused, scared, telephone calls, Dr. & specialist appointments with no time to cry.

Now mind you this is not a complaint it is just protocol, which is actually rather efficient.

My experience thus far has literally been seamless.

I recall having to go for another set of scans just after my diagnosis. I drove myself to Capital Health in Pennington, NJ in a zombie-like mind space.  I arrived early and sought out a waiting area with the fewest people, I wasn't feeling well psychologically or emotionally and didn't want to be around anyone. 

I sat down and on the other side of a partial wall was a woman yacking it up on her mobile phone.  She was very involved in a conversation regarding all of her complaints and criticisms about her husbands hospital experience.  Shortly thereafter another woman walked up and was doing the exact same thing with someone on her mobile phone.  Listening to these two women's conversations made me realize I needed to "set up" my forthcoming experience in the world of conventional cancer medicine.  So right then and there I decided to align with the best people in cancer care and I was going to have a simple, easy total experience. It has been an amazing experience thus far.

During the initial cancer care stage I consciously opted to completely trust divine guidance, be attentive, deliberate and PRO-ACTIVE. There was little space for any esoteric and spiritual thought or activity.

Almost immediately the details began to seamlessly fall into place. I closed up my flat in the woods, my studio space in New Hope, packed up enough clothes to be gone for awhile and drove south to my parents home on the Chesapeake Bay. Everything had been taken care of so I don't have to think or stress out about day to day life. I could take my time for healing and to be in this experience in a very healthy environment.  There is space for such creativity and transformation.  In an abstract way, it almost feels like a right of passage?

Now the real work begins...

** to be clear, I am most aware of the severity of this diagnosis and realize how much work I have ahead of me to get my body to be cancer free.